The Churn. Drew Magarys Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here. I nearly drowned last week. I was at a beach off the coast of Delaware and the waves were a good 1. Special Alison Tyler there. There were whitecaps going all the way back to the horizon. But I had already dragged our kids and all our shit down to the beach, so I was going into the water no matter what. My wife was like O HELL NO, but I was like, Its fine. This is a standard dad move. I could push my kids out of a burning airplane and still turn to my wife and say, This is perfectly safe I have no problem downplaying the potential lethality of ANY situation. So I go past the initial breakers and immediately Im in deep shit. The waves wont stop crashing. Every time I dive under them, they throw me back and Im still in the middle of endless churn. And the undertow is so strong that it keeps dragging me right back into the middle of the action. WLWT, virtual channel 5 UHF digital channel 35, is an NBCaffiliated television station licensed to Cincinnati, Ohio, United States. The station is owned by the. Does Garcinia Cambogia Help With Depression Garcinia Pure Cambogia Does Garcinia Cambogia Help With Depression What Is Garcinia Pure Made Of Garcinia Cambogia. How Does Anti Aging Creams Work Genesys Rejuvenation Products How Does Anti Aging Creams Work Mm System Skin Rejuvenation Program Skin Clinic Kirkwall. Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. Free Caller Tunes Download For Vodafone here. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2017 Deadspin NFL team preview is for. I needed to write a script to enter multiline input to a program psql. After a bit of googling, I found the following syntax works cat ltlt EOF psql params. Im stuck. I cant go forward or back. Youre supposed to swim sideways to break out of mean currents, but Id already forgotten that bit of precious strategery. Using Paypal For Downloadable Products'>Using Paypal For Downloadable Products. I keep diving under and getting thrown back. And now I look back to the beach and can see my wife and kid standing next to a stud lifeguard, who is holding his little red missile thingy, ready to dive in and come rescue my sorry ass. I remember when I would play in the ocean as a kid and the whole GOAL was to have the waves bury me and toss me around until I was spitting up seawater. I remember liking it for some reason. I remember wanting to see what would happen, what new ways the ocean would kick my ass. But I am no longer young. Im not elastic. Im not built for this. Now Im getting pummeled before I have a chance to recover from the last pummeling. I only see the beach in flashes. My feet cant touch the sand. L5jUFk4jmJsINZdeYSHCyQgi1s=/768x0/filters:no_upscale()/about/MovieRatings-56b2f74b3df78cdfa0046638.jpg' alt='What Does Protected Program By Tv Pg Means' title='What Does Protected Program By Tv Pg Means' />I am going to be swept away and die like an idiot, which would be wholly appropriate given my career. But no. Not this day. No, I summon what small amount of Dad Strength I have left and push through the undertow and finally feel my feet touch the sand again. I stagger back to the beach as the waves nail me a few times more for good measure, and my wife is shaking her head like, You moron. Like any good dad, I take great pains to shrug off the entire incident. I go, Wow, that was some brutal surf And the lifeguard is like, Yeah, I was trying to call you in. We dont want anyone going past knee deep today. Thats my cue to activate my know it allism and be like, Oh for sureWeb portal for buildingrelated information with a whole building focus provided by the National Institute of Building Sciences. Areas include Design Guidance. Where are the files for a PostgreSQL database storedIm a 38yearold man, he says. Id much rather it be a program geared toward me, whether thats TV14 or sometimes even more graphic than that, which is what I like. As you can see, the riptides are very strong today IM GLAD I COULD USE MY POSEIDON LIKE MASTERY OF THE SEA TO TEST THESE WATERS AND SHOW THE REST OF THE BEACHGOERS THAT YOU MUST RESPECT THE WAVES. Down the beach, there is a family with older kids, and those kids are hanging out WAY deep in the surf, on surfboards. The waves that crushed me bounce right off them. The lifeguard doesnt seem to worry about them at all. They are good. They can handle it. I continue playing it off for the rest of the day. But afterward, at night, I close my eyes and I can still feel the waves tossing me around and beating me senseless. I can sense that I was closeperhaps not THAT close, but close enough to make me revisit the moment over and overto getting carried out to sea and never seeing anyone or anything I love ever again. I fall asleep and I dream about being caught in roiling water, this time with no beach of any kind in sight. I can barely breathe. When I try to swim, the ocean grabs me and does as it pleases. And I wake up remembering what it was like for that split second when I knew I was in very real trouble. Normally, I am in command of my own body. Im fully in charge of taking steps, and sitting down, and stuffing my face with breakfast sandwiches. Every movement is within my control. And so its very unnerving to experience a moment where you are forced to concede control of your body, when another entity takes over your central nervous system by proxy and you have to hope that it has mercy on you. I can recall, with great clarity, the moments when this has happened in my life. It happened out in that ocean. It happened any time I got into a car wreck. It happened any time I lost control while skiing, turned into a complete spazz, and then fell down. And of course, it happened out on the football field. The time between you placing your hand in the dirt and the snap is the longest. I remember practicing all week and daydreaming about finally getting into the game, where in I would CRUSH the opposition and thus be rewarded with fine foods and bountiful women. And then, when I finally got a chance to take the field in garbage time, I remember little but pure terror. OH FUCK. WHAT DO I DOThat time right before the snap is like waiting for a prison riot to break out. We drilled our movements down for hours. The o line was always relegated to the hinterlands of the practice field, and there we would duck walk until our quads were ready to burst. We would face each other in a column of twos and get in proper pass block position and take turns jabbing and stepping and grabbing at the front of the d linemans shoulder pads this is why smart d lineman wear tight jerseys and slick them with Vaseline. We would break down when the coach shouted BREAKDOWN We did all that. The goal of any football practice is to prepare your men for everything that can happen during the course of the game, and its easy to delude yourself into thinking a good practice week can accomplish that. I remember Id be like, Wow, we had a great week of practice Thisll go well And then the game would start. The few times I got in there, Id hear the whistle blow and then find myself in the center of the churn. Everything I had practiced seemed useless in the center of that chaos. The mass of bodies did what it wanted, with me nearly helpless to influence it. One time, I was playing defense and broke through the o line, only to realize that I had been set up for a pull block. And I can still remember that dude coming right at me, head lowered. I can still remember thinking, Oh shit, right before he plowed into me and I gave my body away. That would not be the only time football turned me into a rag doll. Of course, part of this was because I sucked. Other players could handle it. Other players could wade into the melee like giant cave trolls and retain full command of their facilities. They could go where they wanted to go. I dont think Ill ever stop wondering how some players do it. To this day, I dont really know how the fuck Aaron Rodgers can do what he does. It seems well beyond the capacity of both body and mind to ignore 1. I dont know how the mass doesnt swallow him whole every play. Fewer people are watching the NFL now. Whether its because of cord cutting, or disgust with head injuries, or political reasons, or endlessly drawn out replays and suspension hearings, or just general dissatisfaction with the televised product, they are tuning out. This means nothing data wise, but I really do have friends who have stopped watching the NFL out of disinterest, and they have no plans to return. I dont really want my kids play the sport, and they havent asked to.